When I was a teacher, I used to tell everyone that Saturday was my day to sleep late. Every other day, I had to wake up before 7 a.m. So, on Saturdays, I would make sure my room was super dark, and my son knew not to wake me up unless there was an emergency.

I wish I could still do that. I wish I could go into my room, make everything dark, turn everything off and rest. But, probably like many of you, I can’t. Not now. Not during the pandemic. Not with the weight of survival on my back. Not with video after video of my murdered siblings. Not with my brown son driving without me. Not with yet another trailblazer passing on.

These days, as the whole country seems dark with killings, continuing deaths from the pandemic and never-ending racial injustice and fear, I do believe there is a spark waiting to get my fire going. I do believe that spark is God. And, I do believe God continues to help me rest even when my whole body is on alert.

—Sandra T. Montes

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